November 23, 2008

For years, it has been undisputed that the media of society has placed HUGE amounts of stress on all females to achieve a certain physique. Before I got pregnant, I had come to terms with the fact that these high expectations of society are unobtainable and, even if they were obtainable, my short and stocky genes are not going to help me. But that's okay! I had accepted it.

Then, I had a baby and I regressed in my acceptance of my appearance. My body had changed from pre-pregnancy to post-pregnancy and the worry about my body image came rushing back to me ten-fold. Let me explain.

The skin of my stomach will never be the same after splitting and stretching to carry a 9 pound baby. It's a gross explanation but the skin is, by far, not as taut as it used to be and there's definitely stretch marks. You'll never catch me in a cute little two-piece swim suite again, I'll never change T-shirts comfortably at a soccer field again, the sun will never see my stomach and neither will anyone in public AGAIN. I hide it from the world and yet, it's something that's constantly on my mind at home, at school, everywhere I go. Have these physical scars have left me mentally scarred for life? I hope not.

It was extremely difficult to decide to post this fear publicly but, no more hiding. I've heard that the first step to overcoming your fear is to accept it and maybe by posting this, I can begin the process of acceptance. Maybe, one day, I'll be strong enough to let people see it but not today. Baby steps!

~Mama Beal

1 comment:

  1. self image is something I have struggled with all my life. Guess it starts when you spend your youth running around in a leotard for years on end, but you are right having babies makes it even worse. On my bad days I try to look at the kids and all the joy they bring to my life and compare that joy to the disgust I feel for my body and usually the joy wins out. You can only worry about what you can control and not waste energy on the rest. Your body will never be the same, all mothers have to get over that one but try looking at Abby and asking yourself it is worth it!! A little saggy skin for the joy of a baby? I will take the baby ANYDAY!!!