About a month from today is my "due date" give or take a week.
I've been thinking a lot about this birth and what it means to me and also what it means to everyone else. I think it's important for me to write some of the things I've been thinking about so that when I go into labor and get to the hard parts where I think I won't be able to handle it anymore that I can recall the importance of the decisions I've made to have a VBAC and a natural birth. Over the next four weeks I'll be making more frequent blog posts to publicize the importance of what I'm about to attempt. So, here goes nothing ...
What does it mean to be a VBAC? Well, the term literally stands for Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. From the medical community, you're labeled as a trouble maker, a rebel, a difficult patient and a complication waiting to happen. But, there's also a book written about VBAC with the acronym meaning Very Beautiful And Courageous. I like this acronym much better. I haven't read the book but the title pretty much sums up the book, I can imagine.
From the perspective of other women who have had successful VBAC's, the connection you have with other VBAC's is instantaneous. Only a VBAC can fully understand what another has been through. I realized this over the weekend while at a family reunion for Jason's side of the family. We had barely gotten in the door and, of course, I'm the only one in the room who is pregnant so I stuck out like a sore thumb. A woman (whom I've never met before) comes running over to me before I could even sit down and grabs my hand. She looks me in the eye and introduces herself quickly and starts talking to me about how brave I am and how she is CERTAIN I can have a successful VBAC because SHE was a successful VBAC and her sisters had successful VBAC's. Before I know it, we're swapping stories about our C-sections and she's telling me how greatful she was to have been able to have a VBAC and how much it changed her life. Her eyes started to well up with tears and I could empathize with her emotional moment and could have hugged her on the spot (although I refrained because I couldn't remember her name.)
Even thoughI couldn't remember her name, the connection I felt was so strong and I am so grateful she felt the need to encourage me and talk to me because these last few weeks will probably be the most difficult for me emotionally. I'm constantly double guessing myself as to if I've made the right decision or not and this moment/connection just re-affirms and justifies how RIGHT this will be.
So, back to the meaning of this VBAC, having a successful VBAC is not only important to me, but it is important to all others who have had a successful VBAC. I am attempting a VBAC for my own purposes as well as those who have had VBAC's before me and for those who may have to VBAC after me and to educate those around me how to avoid becoming a VBAC themselves. Because of this, I hope all of you can learn something from my experience.
Thanks for all your support and prayers.