Like the Tom Petty song says, "Waiting is the Hardest Part." That's for sure.
I'm sick of being pregnant. Sick of having to go to the bathroom every 3 hours at night. Sick of not having any clothes to wear. Sick of the hip pain. Sick of working hard to try and make something happen. Sick of the comments from strangers. Sick of thinking about it. Sick of people asking "so, when do you think the baby will come?" Sick of waiting!!!
I don't know why I have to wait so long but ... if I have to wait, I have no choice. I keep telling myself, "at least I'm not having a C-section." Because if I were still at Waconia, they would be pushing me to have the C-section at this point. Being at Morning Star Women's Health Center it just isn't an option.
So, because I'm sick of being pregnant, Thursday we're having a Bar-B-Que just to get my mind off "being pregnant". Every weekend Jason and I have been kind of ... putting things off and not doing much because we're never sure if something is going to happen and when nothing happens ... we've just wasted another weekend of missing out on fun stuff with our friends/family. So ... if I go into labor during an event, so be it. :)
So tomorrow I will officially be 1 week overdue. They say, on average, women will go over due 1 week and 1 day. So Friday I'm scheduled to go see a doctor in Hudson WI that the Midwives at MorningStar trust to make sure baby and I are able to continue to be "overdue". The midwives are very reassuring that they've never had anyone go overdue more than 2 weeks.
Wish me luck, I would have posted a picture but ... seriously, nothing has changed besides I've gotten bigger and crankier. :p
~Mama Beal
September 1, 2010
August 27, 2010
Here comes my due date ... And ... there it goes.
Well, August 26th has come ... and gone. It is now the 27th and I am officially "over-due". The lady at the coffee shop looked at me and asked me when the baby was supposed to come. It's interesting to tell them "yesterday." I also went into Creative Kids Stuff to buy Abby a present from the new coming Baby Beal and the sales lady saw me from behind and asked how I was doing, when I turned around, her eyes got real big and I'm pretty sure she lost her train of thought and then walked away. Yeah, it's FUN to be looked at like a freak of nature.
Anyways. I have officially never been this pregnant before so this is all new. With Abby, they induced me at 38.5 weeks. So, feeling "ready" to have the baby is an understatement. Jason and I have been trying everything to move things along. I've been adjusted, had acupuncture, done Moxibustion (this is a weird thing but supposedly it works well), I walk 2 times a day for 15 minutes at least, one day I went for a 3 mile walk (that was exhausting). The little booger is just nice and cosy inside. My only worry is that I will go 2 weeks overdue and the next step will be to have a C-section. I am so ready to do this, I KNOW I can do this, God just needs to grant me the opportunity.
I really appreciate all the support I've been receiving. Everyone has been so encouraging these last few weeks as my due date has come and gone. It is truly what has kept me going. I've been exhausted recently so the encouragement is MUCH needed at this point. Thank you so much, keep sending me positive thoughts and prayers. I just want everyone to know that I'm not only doing this for myself, the baby, Abby and Jason but I'm doing it for all my readers, and all the women in my family that have had C-sections before me. I'm doing this for all of you as well as myself.
If I can do it, you can do it.
Thanks again everyone, hopefully next time I post I will have become a mom for the second time.
~Mama Beal
Anyways. I have officially never been this pregnant before so this is all new. With Abby, they induced me at 38.5 weeks. So, feeling "ready" to have the baby is an understatement. Jason and I have been trying everything to move things along. I've been adjusted, had acupuncture, done Moxibustion (this is a weird thing but supposedly it works well), I walk 2 times a day for 15 minutes at least, one day I went for a 3 mile walk (that was exhausting). The little booger is just nice and cosy inside. My only worry is that I will go 2 weeks overdue and the next step will be to have a C-section. I am so ready to do this, I KNOW I can do this, God just needs to grant me the opportunity.
I really appreciate all the support I've been receiving. Everyone has been so encouraging these last few weeks as my due date has come and gone. It is truly what has kept me going. I've been exhausted recently so the encouragement is MUCH needed at this point. Thank you so much, keep sending me positive thoughts and prayers. I just want everyone to know that I'm not only doing this for myself, the baby, Abby and Jason but I'm doing it for all my readers, and all the women in my family that have had C-sections before me. I'm doing this for all of you as well as myself.
If I can do it, you can do it.
Thanks again everyone, hopefully next time I post I will have become a mom for the second time.
~Mama Beal
August 21, 2010
5 days ... AND LOOK AT THIS ZUCCHINI!
My "due date" is slowly but quickly approaching. I haven't really been feeling any different from last week but when I looked at the pictures from the last post, I obviously have increased in belly size. I must be growing though because I literally have no shirts that cover my belly anymore. On my off work days I find myself rummaging through Jason's drawers to find his few extra large T-shirts.
As the days go by, I find myself feeling more and more prepared to have this baby. People keep asking me "do you just feel like you want to be done?" Well yes ... but I feel like I had an epiphany the other day and the best place for an epiphany is, of course, the bathtub. I was laying in there thinking about my decision to have this baby and do it naturally and attempt this VBAC and I suddenly knew I was ready. I'm not just physically tired and ready to be done but I know that I am mentally prepared. I CAN do this.
To put things into perspective as to how my pregnancy is progressing, I'm feeling round, I'm measuring about a week ahead of schedule and I'm occasionally having braxton hicks contractions. PLUS, when I walk into a room of people who don't know me, they almost look startled as to how big I am. (yeah, that makes a pregnant woman feel REALLY good.) I haven't been nesting, infact, I've had to force myself to clean the house for a showing that we had. I've even started doing dishes (against my own will) just to see if it would maybe put me into labor, kind of a "which came first, the chicken or the egg" mentality. I don't think it's working.
Anyways, to spice it up a bit, I have taken the regular picture of my growing belly but we also have received some rather large Zucchini's from our organic farm share. I've never seen zucchini this large before. They've got to be about the length of a full grown baby! :)
Have you ever seen a Zucchini this huge before??? It's GOT to be about the length of a baby.
Aw, Zucchini Baby. (Weird, I know.)
August 2, 2010
What I am about to tell you may sound far fetched BUT, bare with me.
As I approach my due date, I've been thinking about my family history of obstetrics. While going to school, we were taught that 50% of a patient's diagnosis can be found through taking a good family health history. Basically, when the doctor looks at you, 50% of you is diagnosed through your genetics. The other 50% is diagnosed through your symptoms and vital signs such as blood pressure, heart rate etc.
So, thinking of myself as the patient, my family obstetrical health history would show what my future may entail for having babies. Logically, I started to dig into my family's past to figure out what kind of history there is in having babies because C-sections are a medical intervention that has not been around forever. In order for me to exist, a long time ago, someone with my same genetics MUST have had a baby naturally. Here's what I found ... My mom had both me and my brother through C-section with exactly the same diagnosis I had with Abby (failure to progress). My mom is an identical twin with identical genetics who ALSO had a baby through C-section with exactly the same progression as my mom and myself. Because my mom and aunt are twins, it can be assumed that they were both born via C-section (although we don't know this for certain). My Grandmother was probably the first of 3 generations to have a C-section. My Great Grandmother was probably the last person with my genetics to have a natural birth probably on a farm somewhere.
With this logic, some may ask, "can you even have a normal birth? maybe you're just destined to have a C-section." Believe me, I've been asking myself the same question for this whole pregnancy. BUT, here comes the "far fetched" part of this blog. Somewhere in my genes, is hidden the truth and the mechanism for me to have a normal, natural birth. I am my own living proof. I am alive today because SOMEBODY had to birth my genetics WITHOUT pain medication, WITHOUT medical intervention and WITHOUT a C-section. Thus, my genes hold the secret to me having a normal birth, I just need to believe in them and trust in God to innately guide my body to do what it genetically knows how to do. Birth is such a process that is ingrained in us to the core that if we didn't trust ourselves or listen to the needs of our body or believe that God will guide us through such a difficult process, that we would no longer exist as a human race.
Therefore, I will be trusting in my genetics, calling upon the strength of my Great Grandmother and her mothers and grandmothers of their past, as well as praying a LOT and most of all believing in myself to accomplish my goal. I can do this. I know I can. I am my own living proof. I can do this ...
~Mama Beal
As I approach my due date, I've been thinking about my family history of obstetrics. While going to school, we were taught that 50% of a patient's diagnosis can be found through taking a good family health history. Basically, when the doctor looks at you, 50% of you is diagnosed through your genetics. The other 50% is diagnosed through your symptoms and vital signs such as blood pressure, heart rate etc.
So, thinking of myself as the patient, my family obstetrical health history would show what my future may entail for having babies. Logically, I started to dig into my family's past to figure out what kind of history there is in having babies because C-sections are a medical intervention that has not been around forever. In order for me to exist, a long time ago, someone with my same genetics MUST have had a baby naturally. Here's what I found ... My mom had both me and my brother through C-section with exactly the same diagnosis I had with Abby (failure to progress). My mom is an identical twin with identical genetics who ALSO had a baby through C-section with exactly the same progression as my mom and myself. Because my mom and aunt are twins, it can be assumed that they were both born via C-section (although we don't know this for certain). My Grandmother was probably the first of 3 generations to have a C-section. My Great Grandmother was probably the last person with my genetics to have a natural birth probably on a farm somewhere.
With this logic, some may ask, "can you even have a normal birth? maybe you're just destined to have a C-section." Believe me, I've been asking myself the same question for this whole pregnancy. BUT, here comes the "far fetched" part of this blog. Somewhere in my genes, is hidden the truth and the mechanism for me to have a normal, natural birth. I am my own living proof. I am alive today because SOMEBODY had to birth my genetics WITHOUT pain medication, WITHOUT medical intervention and WITHOUT a C-section. Thus, my genes hold the secret to me having a normal birth, I just need to believe in them and trust in God to innately guide my body to do what it genetically knows how to do. Birth is such a process that is ingrained in us to the core that if we didn't trust ourselves or listen to the needs of our body or believe that God will guide us through such a difficult process, that we would no longer exist as a human race.
Therefore, I will be trusting in my genetics, calling upon the strength of my Great Grandmother and her mothers and grandmothers of their past, as well as praying a LOT and most of all believing in myself to accomplish my goal. I can do this. I know I can. I am my own living proof. I can do this ...
~Mama Beal
July 26, 2010
About a Month from Today
About a month from today is my "due date" give or take a week.
I've been thinking a lot about this birth and what it means to me and also what it means to everyone else. I think it's important for me to write some of the things I've been thinking about so that when I go into labor and get to the hard parts where I think I won't be able to handle it anymore that I can recall the importance of the decisions I've made to have a VBAC and a natural birth. Over the next four weeks I'll be making more frequent blog posts to publicize the importance of what I'm about to attempt. So, here goes nothing ...
What does it mean to be a VBAC? Well, the term literally stands for Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. From the medical community, you're labeled as a trouble maker, a rebel, a difficult patient and a complication waiting to happen. But, there's also a book written about VBAC with the acronym meaning Very Beautiful And Courageous. I like this acronym much better. I haven't read the book but the title pretty much sums up the book, I can imagine.
From the perspective of other women who have had successful VBAC's, the connection you have with other VBAC's is instantaneous. Only a VBAC can fully understand what another has been through. I realized this over the weekend while at a family reunion for Jason's side of the family. We had barely gotten in the door and, of course, I'm the only one in the room who is pregnant so I stuck out like a sore thumb. A woman (whom I've never met before) comes running over to me before I could even sit down and grabs my hand. She looks me in the eye and introduces herself quickly and starts talking to me about how brave I am and how she is CERTAIN I can have a successful VBAC because SHE was a successful VBAC and her sisters had successful VBAC's. Before I know it, we're swapping stories about our C-sections and she's telling me how greatful she was to have been able to have a VBAC and how much it changed her life. Her eyes started to well up with tears and I could empathize with her emotional moment and could have hugged her on the spot (although I refrained because I couldn't remember her name.)
Even thoughI couldn't remember her name, the connection I felt was so strong and I am so grateful she felt the need to encourage me and talk to me because these last few weeks will probably be the most difficult for me emotionally. I'm constantly double guessing myself as to if I've made the right decision or not and this moment/connection just re-affirms and justifies how RIGHT this will be.
So, back to the meaning of this VBAC, having a successful VBAC is not only important to me, but it is important to all others who have had a successful VBAC. I am attempting a VBAC for my own purposes as well as those who have had VBAC's before me and for those who may have to VBAC after me and to educate those around me how to avoid becoming a VBAC themselves. Because of this, I hope all of you can learn something from my experience.
Thanks for all your support and prayers.
~Mama Beal
I've been thinking a lot about this birth and what it means to me and also what it means to everyone else. I think it's important for me to write some of the things I've been thinking about so that when I go into labor and get to the hard parts where I think I won't be able to handle it anymore that I can recall the importance of the decisions I've made to have a VBAC and a natural birth. Over the next four weeks I'll be making more frequent blog posts to publicize the importance of what I'm about to attempt. So, here goes nothing ...
What does it mean to be a VBAC? Well, the term literally stands for Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. From the medical community, you're labeled as a trouble maker, a rebel, a difficult patient and a complication waiting to happen. But, there's also a book written about VBAC with the acronym meaning Very Beautiful And Courageous. I like this acronym much better. I haven't read the book but the title pretty much sums up the book, I can imagine.
From the perspective of other women who have had successful VBAC's, the connection you have with other VBAC's is instantaneous. Only a VBAC can fully understand what another has been through. I realized this over the weekend while at a family reunion for Jason's side of the family. We had barely gotten in the door and, of course, I'm the only one in the room who is pregnant so I stuck out like a sore thumb. A woman (whom I've never met before) comes running over to me before I could even sit down and grabs my hand. She looks me in the eye and introduces herself quickly and starts talking to me about how brave I am and how she is CERTAIN I can have a successful VBAC because SHE was a successful VBAC and her sisters had successful VBAC's. Before I know it, we're swapping stories about our C-sections and she's telling me how greatful she was to have been able to have a VBAC and how much it changed her life. Her eyes started to well up with tears and I could empathize with her emotional moment and could have hugged her on the spot (although I refrained because I couldn't remember her name.)
Even thoughI couldn't remember her name, the connection I felt was so strong and I am so grateful she felt the need to encourage me and talk to me because these last few weeks will probably be the most difficult for me emotionally. I'm constantly double guessing myself as to if I've made the right decision or not and this moment/connection just re-affirms and justifies how RIGHT this will be.
So, back to the meaning of this VBAC, having a successful VBAC is not only important to me, but it is important to all others who have had a successful VBAC. I am attempting a VBAC for my own purposes as well as those who have had VBAC's before me and for those who may have to VBAC after me and to educate those around me how to avoid becoming a VBAC themselves. Because of this, I hope all of you can learn something from my experience.
Thanks for all your support and prayers.
~Mama Beal
July 20, 2010
Abby's 3 years old and now it's time for the baby to come out.
So, when we told Abby about the baby, we told her that around the time Abby has another birthday and turns 3 years old that the baby would come soon. Well, Abby turned 3 years old on Sunday 7/18 and her next question after the birthday party and cake etc was, "now is it time for the baby to come out?"
Well, it's ALMOST time. 37 days (give or take a week.) And I'm starting to get that "exhausted" feeling that you get in the last month of pregnancy. Here's a few things that are going on with me for the past few weeks during the pregnancy.
1. Heartburn ALL the time, especially when I'm laying down in bed at night. For some reason I only get it when I lay on my right side. "so lay on your left side" you say, well, when I lay on my left side the baby kicks like crazy and then I get no sleep.
2. Insomnia just about every other day this week I've woken up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and cannot get back to sleep. It always happens between the hours of 2 and 4. Yuck.
3. Bathroom breaks have increased from 0 times per night to 2-3 times per night. I kid you not, I am not just pee-ing a little bit, I'm pee-ing A LOT. It frankly surprises me how much comes out every time.
4. Rolling over in bed, I feel like a beached whale.
5. I have been having a lot of braxton hicks contractions.
6. I can only eat small meals again. I can't even eat a whole sandwich without feeling like I'm giving myself heartburn.
7. This one is a good one. So far, NO additional stretch marks. The first time around, they were TERRIBLE and Really Really itchy. Not this time.
Well, if anything, this pregnancy is completely different from the last one which hopefully means the birth will be completely different. THERE'S HOPE! Well, at least our Bradley instructor certainly seems to think so. (My pregnant brain can't remember everything I've written about the Bradley classes so if I've already written this, my apologies in advance.) We're the only couple in the class that has already had a child. So whenever we're talking about specific parts of birth, the Bradley instructor will talk about for "first time births ... blah blah blah ..." and then she'll point to Jason and I and say, "but not for you guys, you won't have to do that since it's your second" or "your birth will be much shorter" or "this will be much easier for you because it's your second." I REALLY hope she's right. If you are interested in finding out about the Bradley Method, Sarah Beth is our instructor and you can find her bio here. Or you can go to www.bradleybirth.com to find someone near you that teaches the Bradley method. I highly recommend it, I wish I would have done this for our first birth.
On a different note, Jason wisked me away to Duluth for a 2 day weekend. It was very nice to just relax, watch some cable TV and see the lake. Living up there for 4 years at school, you forget how much you really appreciated the lake and all it's beauty. Here's a few pictures from our trip.
A few pictures at the rose garden. I would have taken more pictures but it was really hot out.
What are they doing?! I would NEVER do that. (although I wish I had when I was a student.)
July 5, 2010
Almost 33 weeks!
Well, I am 33 weeks now and I'm starting to feel like it physically. My hips hurt, just about every morning when I wake up, I find myself huffing and puffing while adjusting patients during the day and naps are my best friend these days. I don't mean to complain because besides all this, I'm healthy as a horse and so is everyone else in the Beal household.
So far, no one has looked at our house. How annoying to clean it every night and morning before we leave and have no one to admire it. Oh well, the news keeps saying the housing market has tanked once again because there are no longer any tax credits for purchasing houses. Thank goodness we don't necessarily NEED to move right away. We'll just keep cleaning and keep it on the market, maybe the right fish will come by and take a nip at it. :)
Below is a picture of my belly again. I'm trying to get together a slide show that will show the progress of my belly. People keep telling me how big I look these days but when I look back at my belly pictures I've taken, I don't see that drastic of a change. I think by people telling me I look "big" what they're really saying is I look "good" for being so pregnant.
I am also trying to stay healthy and keep my uterus in good shape. Below is a picture of a type of tea that I'm using, it's a loose leaf tea called red-raspberry leaf tea. It's helpful for all sorts of different feminine problems/conditions but it's mostly known for toning and conditioning the uterus. Although it looks like drugs, I think it's doing it's work correctly. I've been having lots of braxton hick's contractions so I know my uterus is strengthening itself to have this baby. We get it at the Co-op and bag it up in a plastic baggy. I feel a little weird leaving it out on the counter or visible in the cupboard so I hide my "stash" in a cereal box in the cabinet. :p I don't want any potential home buyers to get the wrong impression.
One more thing that's been happening gradually is that my hair has been changing colors. I didn't really notice it until I saw my hair in some pictures from our family trip to Hackensack MN. It's progressively getting redder/oranger. By the time I'd had Abby people had a hard time distinguishing my hair color from red or blond. It seems this time around my body remembers what happened last time. So, here's a picture for those of you who haven't seen me in a while.
Well, that's all for now. Hope ya'll had a fantastic 4th.
~Mama Beal
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